Eff You: Gold Digger or Wise Woman?

I have been sitting on this issue for several weeks since I first heard this song.



I'm sure you have already heard it.

When I ask my black male co-workers what a gold digger is they define it as a woman who wants a man for his money. When we have other discussions about what women want they go so far as to say a woman requiring a man make a certain a amount (mind you much less than her even though she has a masters degree and is making $70K/year) is a borderline gold digger. She should just accept him for him. He would never accept her for her if she were 300 lbs though but that's neither here nor there right? The paternal responsibility to provide and protect is lost with today's generation of men. The fact that this song has become as popular as it has only means men of all races have lost their bearings with regard to this issue (and women don't think it applies to them). These are the same men who complain that women are no longer submissive. You want me to practice the conventional role of submission but you fail to handle your role of bringing something to the table? Bullshit.

The word submission means to come under the mission. The man, the head of the household, is to be going somewhere and thus she follows suit or 'helps' with the mission. Where are we going without money? It also means 'a letting go'. How am I supposed trust you to handle things when I'm added to the equation on a permanent basis when you can't even handle taking me out to dinner every week? Does that make sense?

Let's be honest. Cee-lo Green is oogly and short. We were all taught throughout life, if you lack in one area, you need to make it up in another area. For men, that answer is usually with money. Please believe Cee-lo, making millions off this song, has no problems with getting any women. Yet these fools walking around with this tune as their theme song are being greatly disserviced by thinking that they can demand old school treatment without satisfying old school responsibilities.

I know there are women who date only for money. They are gold diggers. However, gentleman EVERY woman considering you for a relationship makes a mental note of your occupation...and you know it. It CAN be a deal breaker. A man making $60K in corporate trying to work himself up the ladder and has a tax business on the side is 1000x more attractive than the guy working at Burger King with the 'good heart' even though the guy working at BK may be more of a looker. This is true for EVERY income bracket of women. In fact, wealthier women want wealthier men. Before you start moaning and groaning, wouldn't you want your daughter to bring home a man who makes $100K/year owning his own business than a man making $25K/year working in customer service with no education or other training so his options are limited all other things being equal? Stop lying. Yes, you would.

At the end of the day, women know that swagger and warm fuzzy feelings do not pay the bills (they don't). It will not add a red cent to the kids' college fund. It will not fix the ceiling or put gas in the car. A lot of women know and are prepared to 'date down' but you (as the man) have to be putting forth some effort to do better, just like she is. (Good) women like men with vision, ambition, focus, and are hard-working. That is attractive as hell.

Should a woman want a man only for his money? No. That does make her a gold digger. Should she be conscientous of how much is being spent on her when she goes on a date with a man? Absolutely. Men and women need to analyze the whole package and finances are a part of that package. How much you wanna bet if the woman wasn't a looker he wouldn't have been bothered with her? He'd be saying FU for a whole different reason. She HAS to be a 10 on his scale but he can barely be a 3 on hers and he's the one upset? Bullshit. He needs to go Eff himself. Just he and his hand tonite (or for a while) as Pink says. There's nothing worse than going out with a guy who makes a big stink about paying for the basics. He did her a favor.

I ain't sayin I'm a gold digger but I ain't messin with no broke negro (or any other racial epithet you want to put there)....and very few women will.

If I'm on my grind trying to make some bread and bring something to the table, the man I love has to be putting forth the same amount of effort (with results) or more. She must've really hurt his (cousin's) feelings to inspire this song. Again, Cee-lo is making much more than the average man in America. He knows little, if at all, about this situation. The crazy thing is,  you hear men making $35K/year calling women gold diggers just because she expects him to pay for the first few dates. Gold diggers are picky. That amount of money is not even worth the trouble. The way women are going to college, she's probably making at least that much on her own.

By the way gentlemen, I wouldn't take relationship advice from a man who titles his album The Lady Killer.