7 Things 20-somethings Can Do to Restore the Sanity

It's safe to say that Black America lost a generation & we're fitting to lose another if we don't shape up. Where was Jesse Jackson, Coretta Scott King, & others 20-30 years ago when the house was crumbling? Reaping all those awards and/or blaming The Man without holding Blacks accountable for their own actions is what I surmise. Nonetheless, I have compiled a list for for us 20-year-olds to help better our condition as we are indeed the future.

As I stated before, we all have dropped the ball but a lot of people in my generation were raised wrong & are repeating destructive cycles with their kids. I once met a man who said he wanted to have his first child before he got married. His mother had no issues with it. This demonstrates two generations of backwards thinking. My generation is in a lot of ways starting from scratch in terms of leading sane lives. Here is a list for 20-somethings to do to make our personal predicaments better. If each 20-something (or 30-something) did half of this list, we'd all be moving in the right direction.

1) Understand the universal family building principles. Men & women need marriage. Children are to be raised within a marriage. Men lead but also have the responsibility of protecting and providing for the people in his home (or people connected to him). Men are the standard bearers. Women 'help'. Nonetheless, there needs to be something productive for her to 'help' with. Elders are to be respected and children are to be trained. Thereis nothing 'old school' about this set-up. Think about it. When we were abiding by these principles, we were much better off in so many areas.

2) Understand your role as a woman or a man. As I said before, too many black men want to respected and followed as men but don't want to chase, take responsibility, or work hard like men are supposed to do. Too many Black women want to call themselves independent but will put a price tag on their affection. The truth of the matter is that men need women and women need men. Children need both functional men and women in their lives. If either is out of step, the whole family suffers. Check out these articles for more encouragement.
New 'Man Laws' for Young Black Men
The 'Strong Independent Black Woman' Has Got to Go


3)Think generational wealth.  Every black generation starts from broke. I know there are rich (read: wealthier) black families, but the lion share of Black Americans come from poverty or paycheck-to-paycheck (middle class) families where the kids get an education which helps lift the financial burden for the next generation (hopefully). We need to build upon this paradigm. This is why I stress owning one's own business, investing, and saving. My fellow 20-somethings, you need to consider how you will set up your children, whether you have them or not. Those of you who do not have them, you have a head start to get your finances in order, build a business, and put somethings together for future generations of your family. To those that do have children, it will be harder but it can be done. You do not have to do it on your own. Are there people in your family or friends who you could partner with? Everybody's skills can be used to advance the business. Yes, it is/will be hard as hell. Mutual funds, stocks, bonds, and business taxes are new terms for most Black people. These are things that 'they' do and 'they' have. However, if we want to give our kids more than what we had and we do not have to sing or play a sport to do so, we must put in the work. Wealth is not a white concept. Those that live farthest from the well must get up 10 minutes early. We brag about how we made another race wealthy. It was hard-work. We did it moaning and groaning but we did it. It's time we do the same for ourselves with the sweetness of knowing that we will be able to leave our children with more than just Bible verses. Ok. I know. It may not be in you to own your own business. Well be the best in your field. If you are a teacher, aim to be one of the most sought after principals, or even a superintendent. If you are a doctor, be the chief surgeon. Be the best and get that money.

4)Restore your relationship with God. One's relationship with God affects EVERY area of one's life. The man that I spoke about in the introduction who wanted to have a child before he was married was actually raised in the church. He is also financially middle class. I know. Pick your jaw up off the floor. However, it's safe to say that his family failed miserably in teaching him the precepts of Scripture (or life in general). It was just a Sunday morning adventure with Grandma. Nothing more. Nothing less. Build your relationship with God because He will teach you how to be a better person-man, woman, child, parent, husband, wife, business person, and more. Too many of us have not experienced solid family relationships so we need help to show us how to be more loving and loveable. I believe depression is far greater in our communities than any of us care to admit.  The deep hurts, poor thinking patterns, and devaluing of Black life which are centuries old need to be repaired. We may never know how much oppression has played a part in our 21rst century everyday life but it does. The only Person who can meet us where we are and rearrange our thinking patterns is God. Point blank. Building our relationship with God is more than just reading the Bible and going to church. It's applying what one has learned and committing oneself to living a righteous life. God does not want us to be bored. He wants us to be at peace. Scripture says that trials will come. We do not need to add to the chaos by having sex with anything that breathes and then having to become a stripper to keep the lights on. We do not need to add storms by partaking in illegal business that sends us across the state and scrapes 10 years off of our young lives.  He does not want us to have to try, get married, and build a decent family while baby mama/daddy from yesteryear cannot leave us alone. God wants us to live greater lives.We can only do that if we follow His precepts.

5) Consider that you represent more than yourself in the public square. Black women in Italy are affected by Black women in America and vice versa. Black men in Johannesburg are affected by Black men in Philadelphia and vice versa.  Check out Our Love/Hate Relationship with Pookie, Ray-Ray, & Sha Nay-Nay where I explain how its getting harder and harder to tell the Black people from the Niggaz. Take pride in how you display yourself because it affects more than just you. Also, check this out.

6)Consider what feeds you. This includes what you phsyically eat and what you eat in terms of entertainment. Stop getting your relationship advice from Kanye West. Stop getting your 'wisdom' from Madame Noire, (M)essence, or Media Takeout. Remember, garbage in garbage out.  

7)Realize that change starts with you. It is not any of our responsibilities to change the world. That is a mantle too great for any of us to handle. Our job is to be the best person we can be for ourselves and our family. If I do better and you do better. By default, we will all be operating on a higher level.

Up, Up and away.