Sad to say (depending on who you talk to), I'm going to start dating white men with the potential for marriage. The more I talk to black men the more I realize I really don't have many things in common with the bulk of them. As a whole, they are either unmarriageable or are not marriage minded. When you go on YouTube the bulk of the attacks aginst black women come from black men. For two generations, black men have unashamedly abandoned their families and then are shocked when the girls and women declare that they don't need a man. They have a long history of sexual and physical abuse and infidelity. They are even living up to their own stereotypes by populating prisons and creating dangerous neighborhoods wherever they live in large numbers. We all know the state of black music, produced by black men, and its detriment to the image of black women and the black community as a whole. They don't care about the community, heritage, or the family. The bulk of them don't event see any thing wrong or are not called to action by where we are as a people. I see no men leading the charge to reverse the low numbers of black men in college, or encouraging black boys not to get involved in drugs. Even Bill Cosby is saying leave the men behind.
I am tired of being surrounded by beautiful dynamic black women who are told (like I am) the most disparaging things about why they are single. Everything that should be seemingly right with them (skin, education, ambition, personality, Godliness) is wrong with them. Do black men hate black women? Honestly, I don't know and that is sad. There is one contingent that is terribly mean to black women and entirely selfish. The other group says nothing of the verbal attacks and is also selfish. As opposed to black women, who are taught to be selfless. I can no longer carry the burden.
Anyway, I am reading 'Don't Bring Home A White Boy' by Karyn Langhorne Folan and it, as well as black women's empowerment blogs, are helping me make the trip over to ivory island. It's been a hard sell because I do want a black husband. I do want children who will not have to face the world biracially. I do think black people have a rich history and heritage. I have been down for the cause. However, I do want to get married and with the brothers the numbers are not in our favor- mentally, physically, psychologically, or spiritually. The handwriting is on the wall. Black women must shift. My transition to white men is not the real reason for this blog. In the final chapter, Folan mentions the importance of travel. She, and the people she quotes, mentions that black women are adored or at least are equally admired as other women in Europe and that Black American women need to travel there to enjoy (and even meet) perspective mates. They may love the countries so much they decide to live there permanently.
She also mentions http://www.blackgirltravel.com/. A site where (mostly) single black women travel internationally. True to form, the creator of this site got angry e-mails from black men saying black women can go. Ain't nobody gonna want them anyway. Black men are a bunch of spoiled brats. Black men love being the center of black women's universe. When black women look elsewhere and expand their horizons (like they have done), all hell breaks lose.
Traveling alone for a man can be dangerous. The threat heightens for women. Thus, this site allows single women to travel to Europe, South Africa, Australia, and the Middle East with the safety of a group. Check it out when you have a chance.
Traveling alone for a man can be dangerous. The threat heightens for women. Thus, this site allows single women to travel to Europe, South Africa, Australia, and the Middle East with the safety of a group. Check it out when you have a chance.
Hi, Denise. First of all, sorry for my far from accurate English, and i want to congratulate you for your blog. YOu have great writing skills.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Iván, I'm a young spanish male. It is true what Folan and others say about how black women are treated here in Europe. We don't have the kind of racial issues you have there in the States. Of course, incidents about racism happen, no country in the world is free of that. But we are more color blind than in America for many things. Here there is no stigma about the sexulity, looking, etc of black women. If a BW is beauty, educated, ellegant, etc, she will be as praised and will recieve the same attention as a white woman with the same characteristics, from men of all races. We, european males, don't feel we are braking any taboo if we show interest if a woman of other race. Of course, there can be someone who have something negative to say, but, anyway, there will allways be ignorant people in the world throwing their bitterness out anytime, we just don't give a f***, hehe.
As a BW admirer (I have always appreciated the beauty of black women) I have sympathies for the BWE movement and the amount of blogs and sites that, as yours, reflect the wish of AA women to progress in their lifes and broaden life horizons.
I wish you could travel here and see for yourself what i'm telling you. I'm sure you would love my country, we know how to be welcoming with foreign people.
So, if you want to know about anything, just let me know. I encourage you to keep strugling in your way, I think you are taking the right decissions. Congrats again. take care. Hasta pronto!