Doublespeak Regarding Black Men's Preferences

I really don't know what
I want.

Often you will hear Black men say there are no good Black women or Black women only want the thugs even though most decent Black women know tons of Black women who wouldn't bother with a thug. Usually these are the most unattractive, non-charismatic of the Black male litter. What a lot of these men will not admit is that they pass up the 'average' looking black woman all the time. They chase pretty hoodrats, hoodrats nonetheless, expecting their accounting degree to clean her up and make her act right. Think about it. In our communities light-eyed, figure 8 Ciera always has a following. She also lacks ambition, class, and substance. However, its the 20-year-old Oprahs, Condoleeza Wrights, and Michelle Obamas who can barely find a date and are looking elsewhere for companionship. I repeat. It is not the uncouthed black women who are heading to non-black men. It's the quality black women who are running for the hills or are a  hell of a lot more open to marrying out then 10-15 years ago. In a lot of ways, this represents a brain drain. Black women need love and companionship just like any other group, if not more. Anyway, Von over at Black Conscious Thought shares some things in a piece called Black Men, Stop Complaining About Your Inability to Find a Good Black Women When You Are Trying to Wife Hoes.

She writes,

While black men are quick to make the claim that black women only want thugs many of them tend to ignore the fact that they chase hoes and ignore good girls. In the video the nerd was lusting after women who were easy on the eyes (one was a cheerleader) but they lacked substance. The cheerleader with the thug was more than likely easy to get in bed too. The nerd was obviously overlooking female nerds and aiming for the popular pinup girls. Why couldn't he lust after a female version of himself? It seems to me that nerdy black men expect black women to lower our standards for them but rarely are they willing to lower their standards for black women. Too many black men whether they are nerds or studs don't care how a black woman looks on the inside. She can be a bitch, hoodrat, or hoe, but as long as she looks good in the face with a nice ass to match she's good in the hearts of most black men.  

Good black women who are doing the right thing but who might just be average looking are passed over everyday by black men. No matter how many stereotypes they manage to overcome they will always be placed in a box by black men. A good black woman who talks about her experiences of being overlooked by black men is labeled "bitter." A good black woman who is independent and on her grind who decides at some point to just flat out ignore black men the way they ignored her when she was a "nobody" is labeled "angry" and a "feminist." A good black woman who expects a man to be on his grind and do a man's job which is to stand on his own two and provide for her.... is labeled a "gold digging bitch."

Good black women cannot win with black men. Meanwhile, hoes like Kim Kardashian are placed on a pedestal. This woman has a sex tape in which she's licking Ray J's manstick. Yet I've only heard praises from most black men in regards to her and her performance. They say she's not a hoe because Ray J was her boyfriend and "it's okay to record yourself having sex with your man." I bet if Kim Kardashian had been a black woman caught on tape doing the nasty she would labeled a hoe, trick and everything else. In fact, when rapper Eve's two minute sex tape with her boyfriend hit the web she was called every bad name in the book.

Good girls finish last.

Why try turning a hoe into a housewife when there are indeed good black women out there being overlooked? And when you have one of these hoes and you get burned...why get mad at all black women for your poor choices in women? Why continue to perpetuate the myth that all black women want thugs when you're guilty of overlooking good black women for hoes? It's not until a black man's feelings are hurt by a hoe that he starts looking to the "good girl" to be his wife. After chasing hoes for years these individuals should not be pissed when they find themselves single and alone at thirty plus.

Here is another post where she presents that Black men want dimes (pretty girls with no substance) but don't want to be dimes ('security', without looks or personality) and are mad at all Black women for their own jacked up thinking.

I'm highlighting our hypocrisy so we can do better. Sometimes it's difficult to smell your own funk because you have gotten used to it. When you can step outside the box (in any situation), recieve constructive criticism about behavior that is hurting your chances of livng your best life and make the neccesary changes, you are then on your way to greater satisfaction in life.