20 Is the New 30



Guess how old I am?
Girl, I rather not hurt your feelings
so you might as well tell me.

You often hear people say 30 is the new 20. 50 is the new 30 and things like that to exemplify that these landmark ages are not what they used to be. Instead of being approached with horror, they're approached with a sense renewal, a refreshing, a starting over with a more mature mindset. It also connotates that people (usually women) are living more fulfilled lives and are looking much better at these ages. However, too many 30-somethings (and older) put 20-year-olds to shame. This is another reason why OOW, fast living, and obesity has to be be curtailed immediately in our community. It ages people far too fast. It's bad enough that Black women are full-grown women before they have to teach themselves how to care for their own God-given hair and possess their own natural beauty. However, to see young Black men and women with hardened faces and forced smiles (if any) like people who are much older than them and seeing older people looking 10-15 years younger than they actually are is a problem. One of the advantages of youth is beauty and generally good health- tight skin, bright smiles, clear eyes, fast metabolism, and smaller more nimble body frames.

We should want to look good for ourselves, first and foremost. Also, think about it.  Our generation (I forget what letter we are) is the most negatively caricatured of all the African-American groups. We are the welfare queens. We are the hoodlums. Therefore, we must be more conscious about how we appear. One of the bad things about facebook, for me at least, is it shows you that a lot of your friends from high school BLEW UP and/or let themselves go....but they are only in their 20s. Some of them have children. Some of them don't but still there is neglect regarding our appearance. You know I love lists so here is a few things my generation can do to look better so we can feel better about ourselves. People of other generations can take heed where neccesary too.

-Lose the weight. I have told you briefly about my weight issues. However, there are too many young adults who are obese. Another benefit of youth is being able to bounce back much faster after having children, usually with the help of breastfeeding (which is also helpful for the baby anyway). Thanks to many networks, Black people are becoming more concientous about our weight issues and are working to get the weight down. I hate working out, unless it's walking. Walking is very therapeutic for me. The best way for me to lose weight is to STOP EATING. I guess if you workout regularly, you can splurge on the junk food. I cannot. Therefore the workday nibbles have to stop and I have to check myself regarding intake during meals. As with anything, do what works for you.

-Hold up on the drinking. I know it has become fashionable to be drunk every weekend. However, alcohol can do some serious damage to the body. All of which, shows up on your tired eyes, beaten skin, and inability to lose the pounds. Nonetheless, it usually masks/pacifies some other spiritual issues (depression) which also affect one's outward appearance.

-Hold up on the smoking...of anything. Cigarettes and all drugs are also detrimental to the body. They too also tend to mask other spiritual and psychological issues. Often you hear people addicted to cigarettes say it calms you down (i.e. gives me self-control that I don't naturally possess). You also hear people who do recreational drugs say the drugs cloud the memory and make them forget about all their worries, even though only temporary. Both are mental and spiritual issues. Why did you think I said we as generation need to restore our relationship with God? These things mask deeper issues than just having fun. Also, word on the street is a man's stamina is greatly affected by these things (bad eating, smoking, and drugs) and not for the better.


I put a hurtin' on my mama.

-Stop having babies when you know you are not ready. A neighbor of mine had twins and showed me her stomach when we happened to run into each other ordering breakfast at the same place. Ill. Ill. Something like that will make a woman not wanna have kids. Kudos to all you brothers who consider dating a woman who has had kids and whose body has been altered dramatically. This sister was not big. However, by her admission, she was not flabby and saggy....much like a 30 40-year-old. She was making trips to the gym to tone up. You would think that with the pressure the female body goes through bringing life into the world, that women would be more selective about who they give their bodies to.

-Live a life that avoids stress. See point above (men and women). Stop trying to live a double life. Stop trying to be a kid when you have two children of your own. It's emotionally taxing on everyone involved. Be a good friend. Be a good child to your aging parents. Have sex with people who value you and whom you value. Pay your bills on time. Live within your means. Stop trying to impress people who don't even like you. Be a good employee. Be a good spouse. Be a good girlfriend. Stop procrastinating. Keep away from people who will lead you down troublesome paths.

-Be aware of your mental health and choose joy. People can do tons of jumping jacks and still look worn out. Wanna know why?  Depression, prolonged anxiety, and worrying too damn much. Like I said before, contentment and gratefulness are THE BEST beauty treatments, even if you are overweight. This is also connected to positive choices which includes having some me-time.There is nothing more beautiful than meeting someone who glows. How about we exercise those facial muscles and SMILE.

-Be conscious of your general appearance. It can be good to ask others how you come across and what you need to do to look more attractice. It is also good to ask yourself what needs to be done and make the neccesary changes. Looks do matter. I love a good suit but they age me. So I consciously wear nice pretty dresses that will make me look my age or even younger. I also notice that a little make-up can go a long way. How do you need to polish up? Do you need to invest in some suits gentlemen? Some of you brothers need to gain some weight. Do you need to invest in a girdle, ladies? Do you need to work on  your skin and/or hair? Do it and enjoy being fabulous.

Looks do matter. People who say otherwise are usually ugly or live in a fastasy world.

Take it seriously and stop looking so old.