Relationship Terminated!

Tuesday was my last day of counseling with the pastor. It is a shame when a Pastor can't give real world advice. My session started with us going over the personality test again. Through the week while we were a part, I figured when we'd get together, I would dominate or at least be active in the session. The prior session she dominated the conversation. I proceded to interrupt her as she started going through the personality test to talk about a young man I was interested in. She led me to a Scripture that had nothing to do with what I was going through. I could tell she was trying to do her best to make connections to dissect me but she didn't because she, ultimately, didn't know what she was doing. She seemed like she was acting like she was afraid to give her advice because I would go around telling others what she said (what is it that she was going to say that would be so disheartening to tell someone else? I would think it would be sound advice that should be repeated) and she tried to blame that on my nature based on the personality test. She said I need to be led by the Spirit because if something goes wrong based on her advice, I was going to be mad at her (what is it that she was going to tell me).

I said based on the Word, everybody's love story is different and cultural norms do not dictate who God wants to bring together. The only requirement according to the Scripture is what we be of the same faith. I said God is not a hocus pocus God. He is a God of the here and now, one foot in front of the other, rubber meets the road God. She said I do not understand God. I said I do not understand God because three quarters of whats taught in the church is not Biblically based. I am in a place where I am having to excavate the real Scripture from the 20th century black church theology (20CBCT). This is easier said than done because I was not born in a vacuum and 20th century black church theology is a part of my being. However, even as I type this I realize I must give greater weight to the Scripture than to 20CBCT and I realize I had my answer all along.

She said she sensed that my needs were not being met with her. I concurred. She gave me the name and number of her colleague. I might try this person but I feel like I'm being urged to learn about God myself. I have to get to know Him better so I can heal because, secular or Christian counselors, nobody gets it or me. That's what I feel. Nobody understands me. Yes, I am getting very discouraged. I just want someone to understand, to help me analyze my thoughts so that I can continue to grow. I love God but His people drive me crazy. I'm just sad at the way it all went down. Its like she just gave up. She gave me the persons number, took her check, and said God Bless. She didn't even try to go there with me. I demanded practical advice but when she did I could tell it was formulaic. I said give me advice as if you were talking to your daughter and she still couldn't let her hair down. I was really hoping I had found a Godly person that really was going to help. My worst expectation was fulfilled.

Relationship Terminated